World Mental Health Day: Boosting Resilience in the Early Years

Foster a Supportive Relationship

The most important factor in a child’s level of resilience is having at least one stable and supportive relationship with an adult. This external support leads kids through adversity because these relationships allow children to develop coping skills.

The presence of a responsive adult and social support is associated with more positive emotions, a sense of control over situations and higher self-esteem, and motivation to keep trying – all important qualities in building resilience. By reminding them about family members and friends who are proud of them continues to build their self-esteem and their connection with the people who love them.

Provide Problem Solving Tools

Teach children ways of talking to themselves about tricky situations. Start by giving them the language to solve their own problems. Encourage children to ask themselves:

“What would [someone they admire] do in this situation?”

”What did I do last time I was in a situation like this?”

“What is the first step I can take in solving this problem?”

Look for opportunities to problem solve collaboratively so that you can model this style of “self-talk”. The more your child sees you doing this, the easier it will be for them to apply it to their own difficult situations.

Encourage a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset means believing that our most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. Encourage them to try new things. When your child says “I can’t do this”, then you need to rephrase to: “Yet. I can’t do this yet.” The concept of “YET” means that your child realises that they are in control of the situation and its outcome. It rewards the effort and not the result and the bar for achievement is set against themselves, not others. Try and create an environment where struggle and risk-taking and doing things outside their comfort zone is valued more than getting the right answer or being the best at something. 

Allow Appropriate Levels of Independence

Kids can’t experiment with resilience if they don’t have the chance to do things that are difficult, things that they might not succeed with at first. The playground is a great place to allow more independence – by struggling to get through the monkey bars or to climb up ropes to a high slide, children are challenged to push themselves past their comfort zone.

It’s important to give kids enough support so they have the confidence to face challenges, but not so much help that they can’t learn from their own mistakes. Remove your support gradually and allow them the chance to see their own capabilities. If they fall, encourage them to get up and try again.

Nurture and Encourage Optimism

Children are not necessarily born being optimists or pessimists, although many will have a tendency to sway one way or the other. The brain can be rewired to be more optimistic so if your child tends to look at the glass as being half empty, show them a different view. Most importantly, you don’t want to invalidate their feelings, but rather show them a different perspective on the situation. Acknowledge their view but then introduce them to a different one. The idea is to focus on what is left, rather than what has been lost. So, if fun plans have to be cancelled, instead of focusing on what won’t happen, try to reframe the situation and focus on other fun things that can happen instead.